Engraved in your heart
by sailor host mew basket
Summary: "I've been battered, locked out by my mom, lost my father, forgotten how love feels and now I've lost the closest thing love feels like" "slammed open the garden gate stormed off, never turning back, never saying goodbye and never realizing I still had a piece of him with me, growing inside me becoming a part of my life" "I'm back in distract 12 and i have a week to tell Peeta"
1. Chapter 1

Engraved in your heart

Chapter 1: "Is this my last chance?"

"_**We do this together"**_

"_**Together"**_

I woke with a start, every night I'm not with Peeta I dream of the games. Which hasn't happened in a while, I've been at Peeta's house with his family every day for months but last night I came home…. I let Peeta believe we could be together, that I could love him as he loves me. I've been battered, locked out by my mom, lost my father, forgotten how love feels and now I've lost the closest thing love feels like. Well I haven't lost him yet, but when I go by in an hour I'd have lost him. I slept with Peeta last night and truly it was special but it also scared me, getting so close to him, letting him love me liked I loved him the same way… Peeta had fallen asleep and I left, tears streaming down my face I had done the worst thing I ever could to him, as I left silently closing his bedroom door behind me. Rushing down the stairs as fast as I could I ran smack into , my tear stained cheeks showed her that something was wrong. His mother caressed my face whipping away the tears. "Now honey what's wrong?" I froze she is never this nice to anyone and now I'm breaking her sons heart and crying in her arms. I looked up into her eyes and started to cry again. Looking back into my eyes shot up and moved her hand right away, at that moment she knew what I had done and walked away. I quickly left the house and locked the door behind me. And now I'm here in the forest carrying four squirrels back to the Mellarks.

Silently walking into the bakery I closed the door behind me and stepped into view, the plate in Peeta's oldest brother hands dropped and everyone was in the kitchen except Peeta who was probably in the garden. "You aren't welcome here Katniss" spoke as she stepped out of the shadows. Quietly I walked towards the garden. I only need five minutes; please I just need to explain myself. "Alright five minutes Katniss no more" Mr. Mellark said to her while taking out cheese buns from the oven.

I stepped into the garden and see Peeta painting on his canvas; a wonderful picture of me, a few weeks ago he started a sketch of me and continued to paint it and hang it in his room. But the picture was darker than before. He had painted over it and now I was in the games by the cornucopia holding and arrow up in the air instead of a bunch of roses. Peeta was very mad at me if he were to do that to suck a lovely painting. "I had night terrors last night and you weren't there. You were dying in my arms; I held you until you no longer breathed. And when I woke up to hold you close to me, to make me safe again, but you weren't there you had left! You left me! By myself facing your death!" Peeta started to cry. I started to cry as well seeing the pain I had caused him. Peeta I'm sorry…. "I don't care... I just… I don't care Katniss, I love you and you know that but it doesn't seem to matter right now does it?" I turned on my heels slammed open the garden gate stormed off, never turning back, never saying goodbye and never realizing I still had a piece of him with me, growing inside me becoming a part of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Engraved in your heart

Chapter: "Prims getting married"

"_**I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute"**_

It's been five years since I'd last seen Peeta. Jacey Prim Peeta Everdeen (our daughter) is turning in five in just a few days and we'll be celebrating her birthday in district 12 not district 7 with just Johanna and Gale. The only reason I'm going back is for Prims wedding, she's marrying Rory Hawthorn. I'm not completely happy with their choice as they are only 18 years old. But love is love and I wished had learned that lesson a long time ago because facing Peeta will be the worst thing I will ever have to do.

"Jacey could you go make sure your mother is okay and not dying in my newly bought bathtub." I could hear Johanna from the bathroom, she was always worried about me even if she doesn't show it or makes jokes she cares for Jacey as her own. She and Gale have been having trouble getting pregnant and I feel horrible for just showing up on their door step four months pregnant, scared out of my mind. Our original plan was to give them the baby and I would travel but the moment I held my child and looked into her deep blue eyes I knew I couldn't give her up. So I moved in with Johanna and Gale and they treat Jacey like their own I couldn't ask for a better family for her except I wish Peeta was here.

"Mama time to go" She has the sweetest voice for any little girl, I bet she'll be a singer one day, or a painter even a baker.

Having this little girl has shown me so much more to life than I ever thought possible. We all backed into the train and headed off to district 12.

Hours passed until we reached the district, Jacey kept singing to us as well as painting pictures for aunt Prim. When the train came to a stop Jacey jumped off the seat and ran to Gale demanding to be picked up, with one swell swoop Jacey was pulled up in the air and placed on his shoulders. The strong smile placed on her face, it reminded me of Peeta, and the first time we went to the meadow. We had a picnic in the tall grass, we ate cheese buns and lay in the grass and talked until the stars came out and we went back to his house in the Victory village. It was one of the best nights of my life, nothing actually happened that day we just watched the clouds and the sunset even the stars when they floated to the sky.

We stepped off the train to see Prim, Rory and Effie waiting for us. Effie had on one of her wild outfits that made it hard to hug her.

"So this is the little cutie I've heard all about" Rory said as he lifted Jacey off Gale's shoulders. "You're uncle Gale's brother right?" Yes sweetie he is, and he's going to marry auntie Prim. A smile plastered onto her face and went back to talk to Rory. "Hey Sweetheart" I turned to see Haymitch walking towards the platform, I ran to give him a hug. "So that's the little rascal" Haymitch don't call her that she's a sweet and amazing little girl. "So sweet and amazing, amazing enough to tell Peeta?"

"Tell Peeta what?" The blonde haired blue eyed boy that changed my life had just entered the Platform holding a bundle of roses.


	3. Chapter 3

Engraved in your Heart

Chapter 3: "Truth be told"

"_**Remember we're madly in love, so it's alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it"**_

"Tell Peeta what?" I turned around to see Peeta holding a bundle of roses. "Tell Peeta what Katniss?" his voice seemed scared. Oh uh well…. "Katniss who's that?" he was pointing to Jacey, my heart raced and panic struck; I was supposed to have time before seeing him again. "This Peeta is mine and Gale's daughter Jacey, she's almost 5." "Oh I didn't know you were pregnant, well congratulations Johanna, Gale." "It was a surprise to all of us and well we've just been too busy to really come visit or talk to anyone, we are really sorry" Umm well why don't we head back to the house? I was so thankful for Johanna; this is probably hard on her.

Peeta walked up behind me, I looked at the roses and butterflies came to my stomach, were those for me. Umm so Peeta who are these roses for? "Oh for Prim, I missed the engagement party so I brought them for you" Peeta turned to Prim and gave her the flowers.

We all started walking back when Johanna grabbed my arm, "You are going to tell him before we leave that this child is his not mine. You owe that to him Katniss"

We reached the house to find wedding things everywhere; Prim was normally very neat and always kept the victor house clean but I guess this wedding was kind of stressful.

"Okay so I know everyone just got here but we'll begin with the wedding party role; Katniss you're, the maid of honor, Gale you're the best man, Johanna you are another brides maid, Peeta you're a grooms men, Vick will be the last grooms men, Jacey will be the flower girl and will be the ring bearer/flower girl and Katlynn will be the last brides maid…" I interrupted what Prim was going to say, who's Katlynn? "She's Peeta's girlfriend" Rory answered. The room went silent and everyone's eyes were on their shoes. Peeta's girlfriend? Oh well…. That's great to hear. I stood up from the couch, picked up Jacey and walked towards the door. I'm just going to go take a walk with Jacey I'll be back in an hour.

We started walking down to the Hub, I was slightly happy to get to see everyone again and yet I had to lie to everyone about who my daughter is. "Mama? Why did you tell Peeta Auntie Johanna and uncle Gale is my mommy and daddy?" Well Peeta is a close friend of mine and would be very upset that he hadn't met you so I'm going to surprise him by telling him you are my daughter, okay? So it's a secret, if anyone asks aunty Johanna is your mommy. "I love secrets. Okay aunty Johanna is my mommy, but I love you as my mommy more." Awe thank you sweetie, what do you feel like having for lunch? "Can I try the squirrel uncle Gale always talks about?" Alright we'll have squirrel. I went to the grill booth in the far off corner of the Hob; I ordered 2 grilled squirrels then headed out onto the streets. We started walking to the distract park. Well not really it's just a slide and swing set but I used to take Prim there when she was little.

Jacey went to the slide and I sat on the brown ground that crunched under neither me. "Well wasn't that a dramatic exit sweet heart? I mean I've seen you do better than that but this is in the top 10 list." I pulled my knees up to my chin; I didn't mean to be dramatic, I just… it was a bit shocking to hear he moved on and no one told me… "You expected him to wait 5 years for you to pull your head out of your ass and ask for forgiveness with a 5 year old daughter strapped to your waist." Alright Haymitch I get it I messed up, you don't need to rub it in my face. "Well sweet heart you have one thing you need to do" I know… "Now would be nice Katniss" Now? "Yes now! I'll watch the rascal and you make things right and bring back our star crossed lovers" I hugged Haymitch and gave him my thanks. I ran back to victor village, burst through Peeta's front door… Peeta I need to tell you something… "Uh Katniss...?" I looked up to see Peeta holding a short blonde girl to his chest. This must be Katlynn…


	4. Chapter 4

Engraved in the Heart

Chapter 4: "The ties that bind"

"_**I don't care if you got knocked up. I can still rip your throat out"**_

"Aunty Johanna? Why won't mama get out of bed?" "Because babe she got hurt." "Did she fall and hurt her knee? Like I did getting on the train?" I heard Johanna let out a soft laugh. "No Jacey not like that. She got hurt in a more adult way." I walked into the kitchen; Awe Jacey honey, I'm okay I promise no need to be worried. I lifted her up and gave her a big hug. "Okay mama I believe you"

"Better put the mama act away Peeta and the bitch will be her in 30 seconds." Johanna told us, she was 'sneakily' spying on his house through the large front window. Johanna watch what you say around her! "It's okay mama Haymitch says bad words all the time." What the hell am I exposing my child to…

"Hey everyone I brought cheese buns" Peeta walked in and handed me the tray of morning breakfast. "Oh yeah Katniss this is Katlynn. You guys kind of met yesterday…" "Uh yeah I'm Katlynn Heer , Peeta's girlfriend" She plastered a smile on her face, she held out her hand it felt scaly like a snake and her nails were long and felt like claws. Yeah hi, I'm Katniss. "Pleasure"

"Damn bitch gotta go!" Johanna watch what you say in front of Jacey. "You keep telling me this and I'm not listening as you can see" Shut up and put the dress on. Jacey, Johanna, Katlynn, Prim and I are all at the local tailor's getting our dresses fitted for the wedding in 6 days then Jacey's birthday then a one way ticket back to district 7.

"Hurry up Katniss I need to see the dresses" Kay Prim we're coming out. The girls and I walked out of the changing rooms and spun around for Prim. The dresses were long, sleeveless and yellow with a heart shaped neckline. Jacey's dress was white and frilly with a yellow bow on her back. "You girls look so pretty, just like me, well except Katniss, maybe the dress should be taken out a little, she can't help her broad boy shoulders" "hey! My mama looks beautiful in her dress Katlynn!" "Jacey I wasn't talking about your mom I was talking about Katniss" "Yes I know and that's not very nice, my mommy is very pretty!" Panic struck over me, she just told Peeta's girlfriend that I'm her mother! "Oh Katniss I completely understand, you don't want anyone to know you have a bastard baby. That's okay I'll let you in on a secret of my own, Peeta and I are having a baby"

YOU SLUTTY BITCH! I lost it, Johanna and Prim were holding me back, Katlynn was screaming and Jacey was watching the whole scene in front of her and started to cry. I heard her wail and stopped fighting, the girls let go and I ran to Jacey I picked her up and went to the change room. I got her dressed and carried my daughter home.

It has been a few hours since the fitting and I finally got Jacey to stop crying and now we were in our pajamas. We were sitting on our bed, half a cheese bun in her hand and a hair brush in mine. I was combing her hair and singing in the meadow her favourite song, her tears have dried and she isn't scared that I'm going to yell at her. I just finished brushing her hair when the bed room door opened.

"Katniss can I talk to you?" I could only look into his deep blue eyes. "Katniss?" Oh uh Jacey how about you go see Aunt Prim. "Okay I'll go" she jumped off the bed and headed down the stairs.

"So Katlynn told me she told you about the baby and you tried to kill her" What bull I didn't try to kill her. I may have been… shocked and freaked out a little bit, but if I wanted to kill her I would have. "Isn't that good to know" Peeta walked from the door frame and sat on the bed. "Johanna said the same thing to Katlynn she said to you during the games, that even though she's knocked up, Johanna will still rip her throat out." Ah good old Johanna making memories last. "Katniss this isn't funny, you left and it took so long to collect myself all over again and I fell in love with Katlynn and you don't get to interfere with that. I loved you… I still love you but I love her and she's giving me the family I want… you just can't show up and mess with that-" I didn't listen to what else he had to say I grabbed his face and kissed him, I needed him I wanted him to be a part of Jacey's life. For a brief second I felt him kiss me back, then he pushed me off of him "What the hell Katniss! I just told you that couldn't happen and it's the first thing you choose to do!" Peeta- "Look I got to go Katlynn is waiting.

I could feel my heart breaking all over again


	5. Chapter 5

Engraved in your heart

Chapter five: Cupcakes, cake and pie

"_**I hunt, he bakes and Haymitch drinks"**_

"Okay so the bachelorette party, the bachelor Party, setting up the tent for the wedding then the rehearsal dinner, then the wedding" Prim seemed excited as the days grew closer to her wedding day, I couldn't wait for this all to be over and go home.

"So today we'll get all the stuff set up, Rory and I are meeting the caterer's, Gale and Johanna you guys are going to pick up the tables and chairs, Katlynn, Effie and Haymitch you will go pick up all the decorations, and Peeta and Katniss will make the dessert for the rehearsal and the wedding cake. Oh and Jacey will be with me and Rory." Butterflies flew in my stomach, had Prim done this on purpose? Of course she did…

"Alright Katniss we need to make one hundred cupcakes, 7 pies and 9 batches of brownies." How many people were invited to the dinner? "About 75 I believe" Oh…Okay… Look Peeta I'm sorry for yester-… "Save it Katniss I don't want to hear it… I have a lot to worry about" Peeta please… "No okay? I don't need to worry about this, I have a child on the way, and I need to worry about what I'm going to do for their future… I'm going to be a horrible father" I watched Peeta throw down the bowls and spoons he started to cry, my body naturally went over and hugged him, he placed his head on my shoulder and hugged me back. "I want a family but I…I don't want one with her… I can't believe I said that!" I had never seen Peeta be so hysteric, did he not love her? Did he not want this child?

"I don't love her Katniss…I love you" Before I could even reply he kissed me, we were pressed up onto the counter and knocked the flour over which sprayed the kitchen. His soft lips lifted off of mine as we started to laugh.

I had sudden moment of courage…. Peeta I need to tell you something… before I could continue he kissed me again. "I'm going to break up with Katlynn" Peeta please-"We can leave! Start over have our own family" What about Jacey? "She'll be fine Johanna and Gale are great parents, she can read and write on her own now and is a great talker" PEETA! I need to tell you something so listen please…I can't leave Jacey behind, she'll have to come with us… "I know you like her but she's Johanna's daughter we can't take her" Peeta I can

"What the hell is going on here?" I looked past Peeta to see Katlynn standing in the door way of the kitchen, I looked at Peeta, he and I weren't in a very easy explainable position, his hands were on my hips and my arms were around his neck and our faces were almost touching.

"Katlynn…" I should go. I lifted my hands and headed to the door. I closed it behind me and stood on the front steps I could hear words from the argument; 'Think of the baby', 'I never wanted it', 'I've always been here for you, 'do you love her', And 'yes'

I started walking back to my victor house when the dreaded sentence left Katlynn's mouth, she was so angry I could hear it from the other side of the street; "SHE'S BEEN LYING TO YOU PEETA, THAT CHILD IS HER'S NOT JOHANNA AND GALE'S AND YOU'RE THE FATHER!"


	6. Chapter 6

Engraved in your Heart

Chapter 6: "It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, and I'm feeling…blue"

"_**Some walks you have to be taken alone"**_

I waited and waited and waited….And still no sign of Peeta, I was lying in bed with Jacey just stroking her hair. She had fallen asleep a few hours ago. It was past two am when the door to my room opened. Before I could get up to see who it was, they had climbed in the bed beside me. "Katniss?" it was Prim, my stomach fell a little bit I was hoping it was Peeta. "Katniss are you awake?" Yes little duck I am. "I just got off the phone with mom. She…she's not coming to the wedding…" I rolled over and hugged her; this isn't really our week now is it. "No it isn't, have you talked to Peeta yet?" Not yet, I think he's too angry to even look at me. "Can I stay here tonight? The three of us?" Of course. I let go of Prim and pulled the blanket over the both of us.

I woke up this morning to find Prim on one side and nothing on the other. I looked over at the clock to find it was twelve. I quickly shook Prim awake and started to get ready. We headed quickly down stairs to find the whole living room decorated for the party. "Wow the place looks great!" I saw Prim's eyes light up; she was really excited for this. We weren't going to have one of those slutty parties; we were having more of a wedding shower. The boys on the other hand were having a whole other night.

Katlynn had dropped the cupcakes off, Peeta had stayed up all night baking them, and I guess he really didn't want to see me at all… Prim didn't want a normal bachelorette party; she wanted cupcake decorating, toilet paper bride and any other cliché wedding shower games.

At around six the party began we decorated all one hundred cupcake, rapped Prim up in toilet paper, played bride bingo and at ten we broke out the booze. We started playing truth or dare with shots.

Another hour passed by when I noticed something, Prim and Johanna were laying on the floor babbling about something and Effie had gone to bed, my vision started to clear and I saw Katlynn she was holding a bottle as I got closer I realized it was liquor. Pregnant people can't drink! Right?

I walked over to her as calmly as I could and swiped the bottle out of her hand and read the label; it read Vodka. As fast as I could without falling over I ran out of the house with the bottle and Katlynn right behind me. I pulled open the door to Peeta's house and ran inside to where the boys were. They were even more intoxicated then I was but I hoped that it didn't mattered that Peeta would be able to understand. I ran up to him and shoved the bottle in his hands; she can't be pregnant if she was drinking! Or she's trying to kill your child! I saw Peeta's expressions change he realized what was going on around him. "Katlynn is this true?" "Oh Peeta it was a mistake" "Don't do this to yourself, get your stuff and leave don't come back"

She's gone, finally gone! I was dancing around in my head and when Katlynn went upstairs I turned to Peeta I smile fell on my lips as our eyes met he leaned down to me and-"I don't forgive you either"

And with that I heard my heart break once again


	7. Chapter 7

Engraved in your Heart

Chapter 7: "Yours, mine and maybe ours?"

"_**You know you could live a thousand life times and not deserve him"**_

I woke up on the couch in Peeta's living room I was hung over and I bet he was, I opened my eyes to see Gale standing over me holding a cup of coffee. Oh thank god! I mumbled. "I'm surprised you slept last night catnip" I didn't sleep, I passed out there is a difference. "Well Johanna said Jacey is awake if you want to head back." No its okay, I'm going to wait for Peeta, you guys can go and help Prim. "Already on it catnip, it's just you and Peeta. He's upstairs sulking. God he's a girl! Why you love him is beyond me." I don't 'love' him Gale. "Then why do you care so much" I… just… Go help your brother get married! "As you wish your highness" I took the couching from behind me and threw it at Gale but he managed to make it out of the house before it got to him.

I gathered all my courage once again. You can only do that oh so many times in one week before it becomes pointless. Taking the steps as slowly as I could, I ended up at his bedroom, slowly opening the door; I looked inside to see Peeta lying on his bed, his hands under his head and only in his boxers, his toned muscles shone in the rising sun light. My breath hitched in my throat, I think I was making noise because Peeta shot up from his bed and looked straight at me. "God Katniss you scared me" Oh sorry… "You can come in you know, no need to be gaping in the doorway" I wasn't gaping… that means huge it's not even a verb. "Fine starring, better?" Yes

I sat next to Peeta on the bed and we both sat in awkward silent. "So how old is Jacey?" Five right after the wedding "Wow it's been five years. Five years to come back, five years to tell me, five years to stop me from dating Katlynn, five years to learn she's a liar… FIVE YEARS KATNISS!" I'm sorry Peeta. "Sorry doesn't bring back five years." I was scared… that you wouldn't be a part of her life that after what happened you wouldn't want anything to do with me or her. "I could never walk away Katniss, not from my family" He brought his and up to my cheek and whipped away the tears I didn't even know had fallen. "I could never leave you, but promise you won't leave me again" Never again.

We headed back to my house after a bit of time, Peeta was fully dressed and I was in need of a shower and something for this headache. We stepped through door and turned to see all eyes facing the front door. "Sexual tension is gone ladies and gentlemen, our lives can return to normal!" Effie gave Haymitch a very serious glare while everyone else burst out laughing. "Yes their problems are solved. And I'm happy for you Katniss but I am getting married in 28 hours and we have a rehearsal dinner in 6 so let's get a move on!" "Yeah Peeta Jacey's in the kitchen trying to down her lunch if you want to talk to her" Johanna smiled as she head up the stairs.


	8. Chapter 8

Engraved in your Heart

Chapter eight: "Mama Bear, Papa bear, baby bear and real mama bear"

"_**They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love"**_

_*Flash back*_

_*Johanna pov*_

I slammed the door behind me and continued onto the couch, lying down face first into the pillow I felt enraged, more than enraged was there a word for more than enraged? Now's not the time. My anger turned into sadness as I started to cry. I felt a strong hand placed on my back. "It'll be okay Johanna; the doctors say this is very common" "Four Gale! Four hysterical pregnancies in the last six months, how is that normal!" "You are so stressed bout having kids your body lets you believe you are so you distress" "Well it's doing the opposite it's making me more stressed" I rolled over onto my back to face my boyfriend. "My boobs are swollen, I've gained five pounds and I want to eat everything in sight!" He lifted me from the couch and placed me on his lap then started to caress my face. "We'll have kids. A little girl named Jenna and a little boy named Jessi." "I hate how perfect you are you know that?" "I'm not perfect in the least" Gale reached down the kiss me with his soft sweet lips; they were the only things that could ever keep me off guard.

Things quickly got heated and we headed off back to our bedroom. After a luxury evening with my boyfriend, I threw on one of Gales t-shirts and headed to the kitchen for something to eat. Walking down the long hallway of this victor house, there are three bedrooms in this house mine, a storage room and the nursery. I stopped in front of the nursery door it was painted green with a large yellow J on the door. Without thinking I opened up the door and walked into the room. It was white with a Mickey Mouse border, the crib, changing table and dresser were an oak wood brown and the betting was a light blue with yellow trim. I walked to the crib and pulled out the small Peter rabbit plush toy. I held it close to me and fell onto the ground. Gale and I had built the room six month ago when I thought I was pregnant the first time. I began to cry, large hysterical tears, I really did have nothing left… Gale's strong arms wrap around me and pulled me to his chest. We didn't talk, I just cried and he listened to my sobs.

After what seemed like hours we heard a faint knock on the door I jumped up and pulled the shirt farther down on my legs, I rushed the door open to see Katniss Everdeen standing there with a worn out suitcase and a giant stomach, well not giant but big enough to know she was pregnant. We just stood there starring at each other until she pushed passed me and into Gale's arms. I was dumb found; there in front of me wrapped in my boyfriend's arms was the girl on fire, the mockingjay, the girl with everything, everything I didn't have.

_*End*_

**Authors note:** **"I haven't done one of these yet and I didn't really want to so this might be my only one! I put this in the story to kind of understand Johanna's lace right now in this whole mess, to see how this affected her and why she is important. I am thinking of doing a prequel when this ends of the nine month and five years before Katniss comes back to district 12. Glad you all enjoy this story so much!"**


	9. Chapter 9

Engraved in your Heart

Chapter 9: "It is what it is"

"_**You saved my life you gave me a chance"**_

It was almost six and I was sitting in my bedroom with Jacey brushing her hair and placing it in two braids as the side of her head then helped her into a light green dress with a white bow at the front. I left my hair down and wore a plain black dress. We hurried to the tent in the meadow to begin the rehearsal dinner.

"Okay Katniss and Gale walk down together first, then Johanna and Vick, because Katlynn is now refusing to come to the wedding Peeta will walk Jacey and Posy down the aisle. And then back up the aisle at the end of the ceremony .Oh and Katniss Haymitch agreed to walk me down the aisle!" I heard Prim's voice shoot into a happier tone, I was proud of Haymitch for taking this opportunity.

We started our rehearsal and Gale and I linked arms and began to walk to the music. "Does Jacey know who Peeta is?" I froze for a minute and felt Prim glaring at me almost like she was trying to blow my head off with mystical powers; I got back into step with the music. No I don't think she does, I told her Peeta was a friend not her father, he and I still have some things to work out and then we'll talk to her about it. We got to the alter then let go and lined up on our respected sides. We watched Johanna and Vick walk down next the height difference was amazing as Johanna was short and Vick was unusually tall like Gale, Vick was practically dragging her down the aisle. Next came Peeta with Jacey and Posy. Peeta was truly smiling getting to be next to his daughter. Finally Prim walked down with Haymitch he placed her hand in Rory's and Effie began to speak. "I will say a few things then you will say your vows then you can kiss the bride." At that point Rory leaned down and kissed Prim lightly on the lips. "Good now that this is over we can go eat!" said Haymitch as he jumped up off the chair and headed to the opposite side on the tent.

Everyone was seated at one round table; Rory, Prim, Johanna, Gale, Haymitch, Effie, Hazelle, Vick, Posy, Jacey, Peeta then me. We ate and drank happily and everything started to feel normal again, soon the little girls grew tired and Hazelle decided to take them and Vick home. Which for Haymitch that meant the liquor could come out of hiding.

About an hour later we moved the table to the side and we were all spread across the floor. "Okay, okay how about this subject? Awkward relationship moments" called out Rory "I have one" replied Johanna "The first time Gale and I had sex he called me Madge" Long OH's could be heard around the room. "I have a story" Confessed Prim. "`The first time I slept over at Rory`s we were doing `stuff` then Hazelle and Posy walked in, they had come home early from their trip to district nine. " Eww I don't need to listen to my sister's sex stories. "It`s not really a sex story it`s just an awkward one, tell us one of yours" Prim I'm living one; I started laughing and it felt so nice to be all together again. And I apart of me felt bad for leaving in a few days, leaving Peeta and Prim. But until then I`m going to make the most of this trip.


	10. Chapter 10

Engraved in your Heart

Chapter 10: Just a kiss on your lips in the moon light

"_**You love me, real or not real?"**_

By 3am the next morning the group and I slowly walked back to the houses. Prim and Rory kissed one last time and went into the separate victor houses, and soon everyone else followed, except Peeta and I. "Well goodnight Katniss…" Peeta don't leave! I blurted out before I could think. "What is it Katniss?" His tone was soft and gentle like I used to remember. I…I can't be alone… "What do you mean?" The nightmares never went away… "You've spent years with this and you never got help?" I didn't need it I had Jacey. She never stays in her own room because I don't let her leave me… "And what am I soused to do?" Stay with me Peeta! Please? "We can't the wedding parties have to stay separated." Don't feed me this bull shit Peeta! I watched him freeze after the words left my mouth; I am scared and alone! I need you Peeta! Is that what you want to hear! I need you back in my life! I want you again! Be part of this life, be a part of Jacey's life! I'm tired of playing these mind games where you want me then don't! I…I meant it when I told you I love you… Before I could finish I felt my back against the hard dirt of the path ways to the house and I looked up to see Peeta over me. Then he kissed me again and again and again and I kissed him back. I was getting lost in my own world, and then Johanna had to ruin it. We were hit by stream of water. "Do you mind? Some of us are trying to sleep!" Gale and Johanna yelled in unison. "You're just jealous" Peeta yells back "Of what?" responded Gale "That after all this time I'm the one who still has her!" I heard the window that Johanna was using slam shut, then Gale's window as well. I quickly pushed Peeta off me and stood up. What is the matter with you! You horrible, selfish, bitch! "Katniss… I-" Save it! I may have lied, and run off and made mistakes but I don't rub it in everyone's face; I haven't changed Peeta you have. Without looking back I ran into the house and locked the door behind me, I sank to the floor and began to cry.

I began to walk up to my room when I heard Johanna and Gale talking. He must have come through the back door.

"It's always her isn't it? Every time Gale it comes back to you loving her, she has everything! She took the family that was supposed to be ours! I couldn't give you kids but she offered, Jacey was supposed to be ours! But she took her back then chose to live with us and rub it in my face! Then we show u here and that stupid blond reminds me of everything! That I'm not the one you wanted I never gave you anything!" "`Johanna you`re being stupid" "Am I Gale? Really?"

I couldn't stand to hear any more so I left and went to my room. But I didn't sleep… I thought… I thought long and hard about everything… then I decided Jacey needed to know… who her father really is.


	11. Chapter 11

Engraved in your heart

Chapter 11: "Our last Chance"

"_**It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart"**_

Prim had us all up by 7am that morning, the makeup, and dresses were all spiralled around the master bedroom, and we were painting each other's nails, well Prim and Jacey were, Johanna and I were standing in uncomfortable silence while (The local hair dresser) was explaining what she wanted to do for our hair. After she finally finished I caught Johanna before she rushed off. Look I love Peeta not Gale, even though he's an idiot, and Gale loves you more than everything! "It's not about if he loves me or not, I've lost everything, but you've gained it all, a family, the one thing that I've wanted but couldn't have, the one thing you've refused to give me."

After hearing that it finally clicked, she wasn't mad that Peeta said Gale loved me or that I was still living with them, or the fact I had dragged her five districts away from home… It was that I didn't give her Jacey when I promised five years ago.

*Flash Back*

The pain of labour was the worst pain I had ever felt, like knives were being shot into my body then pulled out again. Johanna and I were in the waiting room while Gale was getting me checked in. "What do you think we should name the baby? Jessie? Jade? What about Jaqueline, oh or Jolissa!" I haven't heard of the name Jolissa before where did you get that from? "I think I went to school with one before, I don't remember, but maybe I should cross that off the list."

Johanna was more than excited for the baby, the plan was I'd have the baby, Johanna and Gale kept her and I could go travel. But the moment I saw my baby girl, I couldn't leave her, not for anything.

I held her in my arms and looked up towards Johanna, I started to cry, and it was an ugly crying, this beautiful baby girl had light brown hair on her head and bright blue eyes that could barely open. I couldn't give her up, so I kept her… In the same house with her supposed to be parents.

*end of flash back*

With two hours left until the ceremony Prim was having usual second thoughts. "Oh Katniss what if we're wrong? What happens if he gets cold feet? Or we change our minds down the road?" Prim relax, you're crazy about each other and nothing is going to get in the way of that, I'm not wear this frilly yellow dress for you to change your mind, now sit back down so you can get your hear finished.

"But Katniss what if it's not what we think it's like?"

If you get cold feet and run away you will never get to know the great things that could happen, getting to have a family, living the person you love most, don't do what I did, don't run away before you get a chance to see what it's like to be truly happy, we have been through enough shit to last a life time, it's time we get to be happy.

With a glowing smile on her face and sat down again. With what seemed like minutes but really hours the ceremony was about to begin.

"Wasn't that just a beautiful ceremony?" One of the guests asked me, I just nodded in agreement and went back to my gin and tonic. The whole town was here, a lot more people then I remembered but they all seemed to remember me. Asking questions on where I have been, and who Jacey really was, I couldn't take it so I stayed silent by not letting a glass leave my lips, but by my fourth or fifth glass I was a little tipsy maybe more. I felt warm comforting hands on my waist and a soft warm breath on my neck. The world seemed like a blurred mirror showing me my mistakes in life but not letting me see it clearly. And for some reason I allowed this stranger to continue holding me in a very sexual way. He quickly turned me around and I saw blond hair a bright blue eyes.

Peeta kissed me and in a horse whisper he said "I'm sorry of all the pain I've caused you and Jacey" I pulled him closer until my lips could touch his ear; Jacey should know who you are, and why I love you so much. Before I could recollect myself Peeta and I were heading back up out of the meadow and towards his house.

We got through the door and it was quickly thrown shut behind me, I think we made it to Peeta's room before things got too hot to handle.

_**A/N**_

_**I am the worse! I killed my compute's charging outlet thingy and I has bad writers block, so I stole my brothers battery today and finished writing, I hope the next one will be up soon bye! **_


	12. Chapter 12

Engraved in your heart

Chapter 12: I'm coming home

"_**You never forget the face of the person who is your last hope"**_

I woke up back in my bed with Jacey tapping my leg, I stopped for a minute, the last thing I remember with entering Peeta's house, but here I am fully dressed in pajama's back in Prims house.

Jacey and I went down stairs to see Peeta making pancakes; everyone was sitting around the dining room table having a long and friendly conversation.

After breakfast Jacey started opening the presents everyone had given her, Prim and Rory gave her a fancy red frilly dress, Gale gave her a miniature bow and arrow that Peeta took away before she shot someone's eye out (Haymitch said "You'll shoot your eye out kid" a joke only he understood and found funny) Johanna bought her shoe's that matched the dress, Haymitch and Effie bought her dolls, even Peeta got her a gift; it was a gold charm bracelet with five different charms; a paint brush, a bow and arrow, a pick axe, a cupcake and flowers. That bracelet was showing our daughter our past, I started to cry but quickly stopped before anyone could notice, I handed Jacey my gift it was just a simple toy oven, she loved to bake as much as Peeta.

Jacey went off to go play with her new gifts when Peeta pulled me aside "So I was thinking to celebrate why don't we go on a picnic? You, Jacey, and me" I looked up at him and nodded.

After an amazing Lunch Jacey went to go play at the worn out park, so Peeta and I could talk; So Peeta umm… Do you remember what happened last night? "If you are asking if we had sex than yes Katniss we did, and I was still sober enough to bring you home and get you changed so Jacey could wake you up in the morning" I looked at Peeta and kissed him as long as I could until "Mommy?" We broke apart; Yes sweetie? "So it Peeta my daddy? Everyone at school talks about having a daddy, not everyone lives with there's but they still have one, is he my daddy?" I looked from Jacey to Peeta a few times until I could talk; Yes Jacey he is your father. At that point Jacey ran towards Peeta tackling him to the ground. "This is great! You can paint with me and play soccer, and bake with me because mommy stinks at baking, we can also go swimming and live here!" That last part took me off guard, I never thought about what would happen with me and Peeta after this, I couldn't take Jacey away but I had a life in district 7. Peeta looked at me with his large blue eyes full of hope, a took a breath and spoke the first things that came to my mind; Jacey can stay here for the summer, school is a week from being over so she can stay I'll sent clothes and such and she can get to know her father. "But Katniss we can do this together…" Peeta I have a life and things are too hectic right now… But get to know Jacey, excuse me my train leaves in two hours. I stood up and headed back to the house to pack.

Johanna, Gale, Rory, Prim and I were all standing at the platform saying good bye to our loved ones, Rory and Prim were heading to district 1 for a Honey moon and we were going home, when I finally got to Peeta I felt like crying; You be a good girl for your dad Jacey. She nodded her head and hugged me as hard as her arms allowed, I looked up and Peeta and gave him a hug and I sweet gentle kiss; I love you Peeta Mellark. "I love you Katniss Everdeen" I turned and walked onto the train, as it took off I saw my family, my perfect little family I was choosing to leave behind…


	13. Chapter 13

Engraved in your Heart

Chapter 13: Begin Again

"**They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you."**

I sat in my bed in district 7 with the damn stick in my hand, the damn stick that just messed the world up again. Jacey had been with Peeta for a month and I got letters everyday talking about how much fun she's having, that she's painting, baking and singing for Peeta, that Effie has taken her shopping again for new clothes or that Haymitch took her to the park so everyone could go to work. I wanted her back so badly… I needed my baby girl, I wrote letters back as much as I could, I also wrote to Peeta who kept asking if I could come visit before the summer ends.

I put the stick on my side table and slipped out of the house before Johanna or Gale woke up, I went to the market for some reason I hate the market, the smell, the people, the things that are sold. It's nothing like back in 12 no squirrels or cheese buns, district 7 mainly sold birds and bugs, anything tree related just not squirrels, which really pissed me off more than usual.

I got out of the market as soon as my mind began to wonder back to district 12; I sat at a table in a coffee shop and began my breakfast.

_**I sobbed as soon as I got on the train; I waved to Jacey as the train pulled away and completely lost it. "If you are going to cry the whole way home I will just throw you off now" Johanna was still a little angry but not as much as before. I'm sorry; I replied whipping the tears away. "Are you sure you don't want to stay in district 12 Katniss? We won't mind if you do" Gale said to me in a hushed tone because Johanna had fallen asleep in the chair across from me. I can't go back Gale, Peeta will think I don't trust him but I do! I pleaded louder than I should have. "For the love of god I will kill you both!" **_

I wondered aimlessly around town looking into store windows and buying a few things for Jacey's return to school. I started to feel a little better until I threw up on a by standing man waiting for a taxi. Stupid morning sickness is going to kill me. I offered to pay for the dry cleaning but he just slowly walked away from me until he was out of view. I slowly walked back to the house embarrassed on today's adventures into town in the first time in a very long while.

I entered to find a very nicely dressed Johanna and Gale sitting on the bar stools in the kitchen softly talking about something, I dropped the bags which made them jump and turn around, and without warning Johanna dragged me into my room. "You have explaining to do but me first!" She was bouncing like made on the spot " So we got a call and Gale and I have an interview in an hour to start and adoption process we were thinking district 11 but baggers can't be choosers! This is the best day ever! Oh and when were you going to tell me you were pregnant? When the thing pops out?!" I was stunned for a moment, they were going to finally have a child of their own, Johanna knew I was pregnant and they wanted a baby from district 11. That's amazing Johanna I am so happy for you! And uh how did you know? She began to laugh, "You are really bad at hiding things Katniss you left the test on your table, and now we need to be serious… You need to go back to 12, tell Peeta about this baby you two finally get to start over again, you don't get to run away anymore Katniss you get to start all over and finally be happy!"


	14. Chapter 14

Engraved in your heart

Chapter 14: Finally home

"**Hope is the only thing stronger than fear"**

The first person I saw when I was getting off of the train was Haymitch. He held a smug smile as I ran over to him and embraced him in a hug. We stayed there for a while until he opened his big mouth and ruined the moment. "Johanna called and told me everything. I'm here to make sure you don't chicken out."

I couldn't help but laugh as I pulled away. "Do you know where they are?" I asked softly. Haymitch nodded and pointed to the small building which the train tickets were sold at. I rushed into the building and threw the door open.

"Mommy!" Jacey called as she slipped from her seat on the old brown couch. "You came! I knew you would!"

I lifted her up to sit on my hip as I stroked her hair softly. "Of course I would be here." As Jacey snuggled into my neck I looked over at Peeta who was smiling widely. I mouthed 'we need to talk.' Before going back to my conversation with my daughter.

That evening Peeta made us dinner, then after we watched a movie until Jacey fell asleep across both of our laps. Peeta smiled as he saw Jacey "let me put her to bed."

When he came back he sat on the couch next to me and turned to face me. "So what did you need to talk about?"

I sighed as I moved to look at him. "You remember from a little while ago… When we you know?" Peeta nodded. "Well… I'm pregnant…"


End file.
